Marshmallows

It sounded like…

marshmallows – a quiet blur but for the loud beating of my heart
two white balls of fluff resting on the table
attached to my wrists
they looked so bright and pristine

Doc slowly beginning to unwrap them
white gauze rolling off in waves
the silence became shrill in my mind
an inward scream at the unveiling

White turning to red – splotchy
such a gentle man given such a brutal task
the pain came then – sticky – pulling
ever so carefully revealing what I didn’t know

What I had yet to see of my losses
I gasped as the last layer jerked free
what would be saved?
I could type 100 words a minute…
gone

The sound of shivering – shaking
nerves raw – tendons exposed – movement stifled
so many questions – unanswered

Cope – hold it in
think of white fluffy nothing
breathe
just keep breathing

Rewrap them
give me new gauze and shade the truth from me
later
perspective will come later

peace – maybe some day
soothe it all by oblivion for now

Survive
just survive